minicomics ??, post 3: story notes and the first bits of a script

The internet is back, so here are the ongoing story notes and even the preliminary fragments of a script.  This always how it starts with me: one document with the notes and the script growing around them like a narrative fungus.  I will keep this document going, changing only the version number, until I have everything under control and I’ve decided on the title.  Then I save under the correct title and begin work on the finished script.  So this is still “Brontosaurus Minicomic v1”.  (As the final notes point out, it is still sadly lacking in even a rudimentary plot.)

Brontosaurus Minicomic (minicomics live, 4/15) v1

“Remote Viewing”/ “Thunder Lizard”/ “Viewing the Thunder Lizard”

cast: Murphy, Anpu, a brontosaurus, probably Moose, almost certainly Josef)

page 1(right) / cover: a drawing of a weird device on the sidewalk in chalk. It has a screen on it and on the screen are sauropod dinosaurs.   The title of the drawing is also the title of the comic.

Page 2 (left) :Pan back and there is Murphy drawing on the sidewalk

Somebody comes along and says something stupid about the drawing. Murphy corrects them politely “More like a time machine”

They say something patronizing about going to see the dinosaurs—Apatasaurus—you know that’s the correct name for a brontosaurus.

Murphy: actually they just changed it back. The official ceremony was at Yale, on Tuesday. (actually, it really was.)

Page 3 (right) :One of the other kids comes along (Moose, Mr. Spit? Josef could be with them), compliments Murphy on staying calm, being polite when people are rude to him

Murphy: Well, don’t draw on the sidewalk if you don’t want to hear sidewalk opinions.

Conversation turns to seeing dinosaurs and debates whether there actually are any, the same as there are mammoths and saiga and Egyptian gods and things.

Sometimes you can see them at the Cliffside.

They get to Edison’s Cliff and Anpu is there talking to the dinosaurs. He is talking to them about Ancient Egypt, and a brontosaurus he met there once.\

Maybe Josef jumps off the cliff and down into the dinosaurs—landing on their heads.

Page xx (left)/back cover

Original drawing with Josef in the window

Dialog: hey, Murph, when did you change your drawing for the remote viewer?

Somebody else: That’s a very good likeness. Or “you really know how to draw Josef

To add: plot. Add Josef making one of his weird noises and on the Kids interpreting it as “brontosaurus”

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