to the sports page:

Attention, sports page editors and sports writers in general:

Although I myself am not athletic (at all), I quite like watching sports and particularly reading about them. Many sports writers have a good handle on the English language and can turn a pretty nifty phrase. Just FYI,  here is a list of sports I enjoy reading about:

  • Football (American)
  • Baseball
  • Football (Association), international tournaments and the World Cup.
  • the Olympics, Winter and Summer
  • Individual and pairs sports usually found in the Olympics, like track and field, speed skating, downhill skiing, rowing small boats, and so on.
  • Especially ski cross.  Ski cross is probably the best sport.
  • some kinds of auto racing
  • The World’s Strongest Man

Sports I do not enjoy reading about: basketball, hockey, golf, bowling, other kinds of auto racing, anything that is scored on a nonobjective standard. (Things that are judged on nonobjective standards are athletic activities, and/or artistic displays, not sports.)

Please consider this when composing your sports pages.  A person can’t get through on entire diner breakfast on a few notes about pro football players driving drunk and two sentences about skiing.  The weeks between the Super Bowl and the start of spring training can be difficult, I know, but please step it up.

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