you save big money, big, big money …

Almost all Americans who live in the part of that big, big country we call the Midwest can complete that sentence with the phrase “when you shop Menards”.  Menards, for those living elsewhere, is a regional big box store. 90% of its inventory is a wide range of stuff for doing things around the house: cleaning products, tools, light fixtures, plumbing, appliances, paint, lumber, doors and windows, garden supplies, etc. etc. and 10% is … other stuff: clothes, a huge selection of candy and weird snacks, fireworks, hunting gear: basically an assortment of things Menards thinks the customers who come in for the do it yourself goods might also like to buy.  I have no idea if the following items are in the first category or the second.

The animals are also available individually at lower price points, except the camel, which is apparently a luxury item.

Note that while all the other characters are in good supply this early in the season, there is only one cow left.  Buy now to avoid disappointment.

Here’s the finished version with the entire cast– and the price list.  Note that the Baby Jesus is not listed here, since he is included in the three piece basic set.  So what are all those $18.99 Baby Jesuses for?  Is Menards stocking vitally needed Nativity scene replacement parts? (Also, although it isn’t specified on his sign, Baby Jesus is Illuminated too.)

(Yes, it’s easy to amuse yourself at Menards while your spouse is looking at boards.  No disrespect to anyone’s religion is intended.)

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12 Responses to you save big money, big, big money …

  1. Layla Lawlor says:

    Oh wow, I haven’t heard that commercial jingle since I left Illinois, but it just hit me RIGHT in the nostalgia place.

    I was going to say I can’t believe the nativity stuff is out yet, but then I realized that it is, after all, October, which I guess is about typical. The Christmas stuff has been in the craft stores for weeks now.

    • Pam Bliss says:

      It used to be that you got through Halloween before the Christmas stuff came out. The “Seasonal Decorating” section of Menards is currently a full fledged battleground between orange/purple/black/acid green and red/gold/ice blue/silver/pine green etc. etc. And of course this means that they’ve taken away the last of the patio furniture to make way for the trees, so there is no where to sit down and draw during the endless lumber shopping process. Which lead, indirectly, to this post– the $18.99 Baby Jesus is right where that really comfy couch was all summer.

      As for the Menards jingle, you will take it to your grave with you, just like the rest of us, no matter how many years you live in Alaska!

  2. Rick Santman says:

    Y’know, I could’ve gone for the rest of my life without knowing that there were dozens of high impact polystyrene Baby Jesuses with light bulbs inside of them for sale just up the street from me…

    And now I want to gallop down to Menards after work today to see if they’re sold out at my local store, LOL

    Are you going to get one to set next to the garden gnomes?

    • Pam Bliss says:

      You don’t fool me, Santman– I bet two weeks don’t go by between visits to Menards at your house. I know that’s true for us. (Their prices are actually pretty good.)

      I actually always wanted to have a Nativity scene– my plan would be to have a fairly conventional Holy Family, and then really go to town with the visitors. Dinosaurs, Godzilla, Kirby monsters, superheroes … you know Captain America would so go see the light up Baby Jesus.

      • Rick Santman says:

        Oddly enough, I haven’t been to Menard’s in a few months.

        I was a daily visitor for a couple weeks during my last project, and you’re right. Their prices are usually the best of the Big Boxes for lumber.

        I have no data on whether their prices for illuminated camels are competitive.

  3. Wolfie says:

    I was just saying the other day how much I really, really needed an illuminated camel. Illuminated camels are a critical component of every well-functioning household, and now I know where to get one!

  4. Pam Bliss says:

    And now you have your own Menards, so you should just go get one. Put it in your yard or somewhere with no context or explanation. That’d be cool.

  5. Rick Santman says:

    Pam, I have a dandy T-Rex toy, about 20 inches high, that I would gladly donate to an intergalactic Nativity Scene. Call or email and it’s yours.

  6. Meg says:

    I’m pretty sure baby Jesus is in high demand because people always steal the baby Jesus. These sheisters know that the demand for baby Jesuses is higher, so they charge more.

  7. Meg says:

    Also, I’m pretty sure you heard the lyrics wrong. I am positive the song is about shaving big monkeys.

  8. Pam Bliss says:

    You are awful. I can never unhear that!

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