It’s two, two, two rants in one!
a) I was, as I so often am, shopping at the local big box store (this would be the one with the logo featuring concentric circles) and the friend I was shopping with pointed out a truly grotesque error in English usage in the packaging of a cheapo Easter product.
b) Sensing a blog post in the making, I pulled out my nifty new smartphone, intending to use my nifty New Phone Camera to record this error for both posterity and a cheap laugh. Only then did I discover that stupid Google had updated my camera software without my permission or even telling me ahead of time.
I know that the new Google Camera software came out earlier in the week. I read about it quite eagerly, because, hey, new camera software. Maybe it will be awesome. But it did not sound awesome. The main new feature is something called “lens blur”, which claims to reproduce in software the subject isolation effect of a narrow depth of field, normally caused when you use a fast lens open to a large aperture. To a person who is perfectly able to create subject isolation by using an actual fast lens open to a large aperture, and who is not interested in faking it with a phone camera, this was not a killer feature. Then when I read that the advanced features I do currently enjoy– white balance control and exposure compensation– were not available on the new software, I decided it was not for me. I would keep the camera I had for now.
Stupid Google decided otherwise. I opened my phone to find a new icon in the slot where I keep my camera controls, and when I clicked on it I found an entirely different camera. Not cool, Google. Not cool. I took the pictures with the new camera, which doesn’t even show me the focus point, and I fumed.
As soon as I got within range of some reliable wi-fi, I checked the Google Play store, and found that today’s most downloaded free app is … you guessed it: the old camera software. If you want it back as much as I did, it’s now called Nexus Camera, the Original Software from Android KitKat. (KitKat Kamera Klassic!) I installed it, and now my camera is back where it belongs and behaving normally. Stupid Google.
a) You thought I’d forgotten about this. Let’s define an Easter egg, shall we?
In my universe, something described as an “egg”, even a “figural egg”, should at least be, maybe, I don’t know ... shaped like an egg? What we have here, English speakers, is a box, or perhaps a container. Not an egg. Sorry.